2,107 Nautical Miles and One Year Later

Well, believe it or not it has been exactly 365 days (January 20, 2008) since we landed at Beef Island, Tortola to go to Nanny Cay and pick up Mystic Journey for the beginning of this life adventure. We thought it might be a good idea to reflect a little on how that year has affected us and what we might have found out about ourselves and our view of the world. I am doing the initial writing on this blog so the first part will have mostly my slant on things. Since Cheryl and I seem to see things in a similar light most of the time, this is probably a fairly accurate representation of her thoughts also but she will add anything at the end she thinks I have missed. I will mention now that this won't be a recap of our journey - look at the 116 preceding blogs if you want that. This is about reflections and, knowing me when I get started, lots of ramblings.

When we decided to write this blog, it led me to reflect on how it relates to my thinking on a more general level. One of the things I realized was that although there have been tremendous changes in my life from what I ever thought it would be and certainly from where I was headed 19 years ago I have become accustomed to them. That is not to say that I take them for granted, but when I realize that in the past, if I had thought by some impossible stretch of the imagination that I would reach some of the milestones in my life that I have, I would have said that I would not have enjoyed them because I would be too in awe of them. This is not to suggest that these things are something so awesome, but to my previous way of thinking they were out of reach and therefore if they happened I would be awestruck. Even something as simple as teaching a class a couple of semesters at a university I had previously considered as done only by "the professors" and far above my station in life. After having done it, I was happy I had done it but it was no big whup. I am not sure if this makes sense to anyone out there but it does relate to the blog and our reflections on it so keep it in mind as you read further.

Cheryl and I talked a lot about the things we have learned and the things we accomplished and the mistakes we made. As we did I realized that it was like a series of adjustment scenarios and to my mind, this is how it relates to "becoming accustomed". I remember when we took Mystic Journey out for our first solo sail. We were heading for the USVI, via Jost Van Dyke in the BVI's, to pick up some more tools and supplies. We both felt a little nervous about it but at the time is was not "fear" nervousness but more "apprehension" nervousness. We were going to sail alone to another island but that was okay - there was no a thought that we couldn't or shouldn't do it. (Flashback to non-sailing days - "what, sail a 49 foot sailing yacht by ourselves in the Caribbean - never happen")

So let's move forward - after doing a few of the islands in USVI and BVI, time to go further afield and do our first overnight sail - into the wind in 10 ft seas with no moon no less - again nervousness, yes - ny idea we couldn't or shouldn't do it, not a bit. (Flashback to early sailing days "what, tackle an overnight, away from land, into unknown waters in the dark with no moon - not likely")

Okay, forward again and more experiences and some mean squalls and some mean seas - no problem, it was part of the life and by now we were "accustomed" even more to the life. Now we want to go to the ABC's (Netherland Antilles) and we don't want to stop in Venezuela so off we go. Now we must sail for 3 nights and 4 days and when we arrive in Bonaire we have to change our destination because there was no room at the moorings. Again nervousness but again no doubt that we could do it because that is what sailing is about. (Flashback to just after our first overnight to St Maarten "It was bad enough doing one night - 3 nights - not yet brother, we wouldn't be ready")

To make this a bit shorter, consider the sequences above and apply it to sailing from Curacao to Antigua - when the time came, there was no should we or could we, but rather when would we and let's get on with it - apply it to sitting on the edge of a hurricane and dealing with it - apply it to putting the boat on it's side and not panicking I guess that is one of the things that stand out about our whole adventure - how adaptable people or more specifically Cheryl and I, can be. It would be wonderful to be able to put this knowledge to its full very powerful use every time something new and really challenging came up - just say "remember the sailing", but I know that this is also not realistic - to lose the "nervousness" entirely - but I think that the last year has been invaluable in teaching us that we can work with it and use it.

The most important thing that has come to fruition over the last year is not only the cementing of the relationship that Cheryl and I are so fortunate to share, but also the realization of what a partnership it has truly become. Perhaps the challenges I spoke of or didn't speak of were the catalyst - I think that truly the blossoming would have come anyway but perhaps not as apparently or even as quickly. At home we had our roles that we kind of fell into. There are things I am better at and there are things that Cheryl is better at and around the acreage that became somewhat the norm. That is a good thing but it is also kind of a "fall into" kind of thing. Out here it was quickly apparent, particularly in times when action or speed in both decision-making and acting on those decisions was essential, that I didn't have to second-guess any of Cheryl's decisions or actions and hopefully the reverse was true. This is not to say that we both do what we do without need of consulting or of double-checking. If I am not sure of what I am doing, I can depend on my partner to be there for me to discuss it and either provide answers or provide support for the decision I do make. This is a two way street. Our decision making is truly a shared instrument for us to enjoy this journey in the most enjoyable and at the same time the safest way possible. I think TRUST probably sums it up.

So, I have shared some of the reflections - well, actually two aspects of a subject that I could probably go on and on about - about the last 365 days of our lives. I hope that it makes sense to some of you - if not, you could save your questions, we will be home some day!! Which reminds me of one last thing. We are having someone do our taxes this year since it is easier than trying to do them from here. One of the questions we were asked was "Have we really left Canada in our heads?” The answer - a resounding NO, and particularly we haven't left it in our hearts. We are on the adventure of a lifetime but our hearts and lots of times our minds are back there in Canada with all of you family and friends that we love and miss so much. So - we will return!!!

It is amazing to me (Cheryl) that here we are approximately 3 1/2 years after the initial discussion with the Perry's about us joining them on their sailing trip. A lot has happened in those years. This past year we have been adjusting to the sailing life, but also to being together 24/7, married life and retirement.

The being together 24/7 and married life has not been a difficult adjustment. Surprisingly even though the boat is small with limited individual space we are able to find ways to have alone time. Griff mentioned roles we had 'fallen into' at the acreage. Actually the same thing has happened on the boat. I am the primary cook, Griff the bottlewasher. I look after the heads and keeping the teak polished while he does the engine stuff. Even while sailing we have divided tasks, he does the heavier tasks such as hauling up the mainsail and setting the anchor and I haul on the lines to bring out the smaller foresail and staysail and to trim the sails while underway. We take turns at the helm - keeping Mystic Journey on course.

Getting used to retirement has not been as easy. I know I wasn't working full time before we left, but I did have my work with Victim/Witness Services that keep me busy or as I say now gave me some purpose in life other than ourselves. That is what we are both still having trouble with - not contributing to the area where we are living. Other cruisers tell us we are contributing by the money we spend on the islands. Some days that doesn't seem to be enough. Maybe this year we will be able to do find more that we can volunteer to help with - does that sound patronizing, I hope not.

Griff spoke about missing family and friends. What I have found difficult is not being there for family milestones. We have missed engagements, weddings, births and funerals as well as the many gatherings that occur throughout the year, especially our Canada Day barbecue. The hardest one was having to find out over the phone that we are going to be grandparents again thanks to my daughter, Leila. She is expecting her first child in July. We will then have 8 grandchildren. We will get to see them all next fall when we return home for a visit so until then we must have patience and at the same time live to the fullest this journey.